Think outside the heart-shaped box. Yet as often as not, men withdraw from their wives for non-sexual reasons. Children, work and even things around the home can all cut into the time that you used to spend with your husband. If your sexual frequency is high but excitement is low, practice delayed gratification to build anticipation. There are two ways to get your husband to do something. Sometimes he needs some extra effort on your part to be enticed and drawn toward you. Or does he enter the house walking on eggshells, and unsure of what kind of mood you’ll be in? So let him know you care and whip up what he loves to eat. It's a devastating thing for a woman to admit -- that her husband seems to have lost his desire for her. I made time for my workouts a priority. It has really ignited a new passion within our marriage. Take responsibility for your own life and make the necessary changes to enhance it. You can make things better by taking the time to acknowledge his abilities as a husband and father, if you have children. The best way to your man’s heart may still be through his stomach. Your man is not going to miss you if you’re constantly available. - Do roMANce him. (But like he needs a lotion from Victoria Secret to put him in the mood.) You need “grown up” time just the two of you. Even if you can’t stomach sports or another episode of “Man vs. Food,” if he loves it, watch it with him. Surprise him. If so, develop a new skill or idea or come up with a secret he’s dying to discover. The result is pure magic. One thing that may hold people back from expanding a family is finances. Do you let him treat you poorly just so he will stay? We tend to give the best of ourselves to our jobs, or our children, or our homes. Some women don’t think much about what they wear, with the excuse that they’re just not into the “latest” fashion. But flirting can be sending a text message or leaving a voice mail telling him he’s on your mind. … Editor's Note: This article is Part 2 of a 2-part series. If this requires professional help, so be it. Invest in learning how to communicate, forgive, … - Don't be a doormat. Looking after your children should be a priority, but so should your marriage. Include libido enhancing foods like blueberries, strawberries, oranges, avocado, bananas, green leafy vegetables, eggs, ginger, green tea and pumpkin seeds to name a few in your diet. Does he complain that you spend too much money? Be persistent in enjoying yourself. Take time with your feelings when you are separating from your husband, and just let them be. And try to enjoy it – for his sake. If your answer is, "He isn't any of those things," well, you picked him. C – Cultivate your relationship with Christ. If you feel that your husband has lost interest because in the past you've had to push off his advances in favor of pressing responsibilities, let him know that you … He told me that the kids were always going to take my time, but that I was the only one who could make working out a priority. Instead, start thinking about your life . Perhaps you could try anal and or blow jobs to satisfy your husbands. Or, they will dress nice when they go to church, or out with girlfriends, but not put much effort into how they look for “just my husband.” But men can recognize “frumpy” even if we can’t. What is holding you back? He once found it attractive in you. Add spice to a bland sex life by showing more enthusiasm and experimenting with sex toys, lubricants, new positions, erotica, whatever. If he doesn't give you grief, then he's showing you love . N – Notice the little things. Tactic 1: Treat Your Husband like Superman. It's okay to miss a Saturday soccer practice so that you and he can enjoy a romantic weekend getaway. Make your observation into a compliment not a complaint. Include your good memories with him in your conversations. You want to be pursued. Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and the author of several books including When Couples Walk Together, Women on the Edge, and When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, from which this article is based. We can all think of a time when your best friend was having a party and your husband truly didn't want to go. If you find your life is changing for the better and you’re beginning to feel good about yourself, but your partner still acts like the walking dead around … P- Plan a surprise for him. Yep, it's yucky. Studies show that couples who kiss each other daily enjoy a higher satisfaction rate in marriage than those who don’t. All rights reserved. Sing his praises as a husband and … The Death of Death - Easter Devotional - March 8, 11-Year-Old Sings Stunning Rendition of 'You Raise Me Up', Laughter Is the Best Medicine - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - March 9, 15 Christian Movies You Can Watch on Netflix in 2021, New Podcast: The Characters of Easter with Dan Darling, 4 Ways to Make Your Grandkids Feel Special. Modeling a healthy couple-centered marriage increases the likelihood that your children will in turn enjoy successful marriages and family lives. You want to be pursued. If things have lost momentum, if you have lost touch and if things are not working out, why not change things and start by working your … What man doesn’t want to chase after a woman who is truly joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and – they love this one the best – self-controlled! Go outside your comfort zone and take a risk with him. Notice that he still looks nice when he dresses up – or doesn’t.). Positive people are enjoyable to be around. Now, years later, I’m not the nagging, tired, old wife. When you’ve won his affection, you don’t want to give up all of your time for him. Having a difficult time getting your husband's attention? Make the most of what you have to offer him and trust he’ll appreciate it. Offer to meet him somewhere and show up in a new dress and hairstyle. If your partner is busy due to work or other such commitments, you should also find something else to do instead of trying to distract him. So how long has it been since the temple’s been remodeled? A boost to his ego so he will believe you want him, physically as well as emotionally. Fix your marriage instead of making excuses or assigning blame. Let him know he’s a great provider, he is great at what he does, he can still get your heart racing– whatever it is that you can compliment him on. Fix your marriage instead of making excuses or assigning blame. - Do learn to like yourself and your life. A man can often overlook unfinished business and go right to sex: a woman often cannot. And our husbands tend to get the leftovers – of our time, energy and even, our looks. Partners who "have it together" are more fun and appealing than those who don't. My husband really does want me to notice his latest haircut even though I really can’t tell the difference. Before you do that, you might want to figure out your emotions first and you will also want to talk things out with your ex to make sure that you are on the same page. And that will help with your flirt factor. One of the things your man finds most attractive about you is that you were at one time (and hopefully still are) attracted to him. Initiate sex to make him feel desired. We all need space … Sex is a use-it-or-lose-it type of thing. - Don't just be a mom. … (That one came from my husband and I tried not to take it personally!) X – Xercise (ok I cheated on the spelling here…but how many words start with X?) Who … Think about any new activities you wish to try on your own or with others. How Many Times Is Love Mentioned in the Bible? F – Flirt with him. Initiate a kind word or compliment. R – Respect who he is and what he does. The Bible tells us that we are not only the temple of God, but we belong to our husbands. Be to him a treasure chest full of secrets he’s dying to unlock! I started to listen. I am the new wife, with a cute body, and more interesting things to talk about. Initiate lovemaking. If you know your husband isn’t interested in you as a healthy woman, then I think you should stop worrying about how you can get him to want you again. Just as there are a myriad of reasons he might seem to have lost interest in you, there are also a myriad of ways (or at least 26…one for every letter of the alphabet) to recapture his interest and make him want to pursue you again. closed in 2021. Kiss him like you mean it. Certified sexologist and intimacy … Or scrolling through Instagram while you're waiting for the … You may have been your husband or wife’s primary comfort and friend, but now you … Do you always go along with his wishes to avoid rocking the boat? T – Text him endearing messages like “You’re still the one,” “I’m a lucky woman to have you” and “You still take my breath away.” Chances are, he may begin to text some of those messages back. What is making you unhappy? Let him lead. You might be surprised at how simple his one request is – pick up his suit at the drycleaners, pack him a lunch, pray for him during a crucial meeting? Not only will it make your man miss you, it’ll keep you … Sing his praises as a husband and father, especially in front of your kids. G- Give him the best of you. Here is what I call “The ABCs of Being Irresistible in Your Husband’s Eyes:”. Article Images Copyright ©, 26 Ways to Become Irresistible to Your Husband. Q – Quit directing, correcting, and controlling. (In other words, don’t notice that his shirt is wrinkled or he’s wearing athletic socks with casual shoes. We usually have too many other things on our mind to even think about saying something to get his attention and let him know we’re thinking of him. It's said all the time, but it's true: Communication is one of the most important parts of any relationship. When you notice things about your husband it says to him that you’re aware of him, appreciating him and – convey this one, too – admiring him. Men are, at times, like little boys. (Note: if you are a woman with a higher sex drive than your husband, this does not apply. Find out what he’s been missing and bring it back whether it’s a hairstyle on your head or a favorite place to eat. Women often jump to the conclusion that unsatisfying sex is the reason for the chilly temperatures. If you have questions or concerns, So, you are separating from your husband, then what’s next for you? Nurture the emotional climate in your marriage. The first is to ask, ask again with a more serious tone, ask a third time with a hint of resentment that he has not listened yet and finally asking the fourth time as you fling a fistful of noodles at the wall. Exercise will improve your mood and overall health,  which will, in turn, make you more enjoyable to be around. 2. Part of HuffPost News. And show him there’s a side of you he has yet to discover. Few men are attracted to loud and boisterous. When was the last time you thanked your husband for working hard, being a good dad or just being a fun guy to go through life with? Tell him that you trust him to take care of your entire family. Let your inner tigress come out now and then and show him he’s still the one. L – Leave the lights on. Sometimes he simply needs a boost. If you are so inclined, keep score of all the positive things your partner does in a day -- and then thank them. Don’t push him but instead give him a peck on the cheek, smile, give him a squeeze on the arm and tell him that you are around if he wants to talk about it. Show off your curves and make some eye contact Yup, sometimes all it takes is a quick lil tease of your body's curves to make a man’s jaw drop. When you have an intimate devotional life with Christ, and are controlled by His Spirit, your life will produce the fruits of His Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5:22-23). You need a lock on your bedroom door. J – Join him in something he enjoys. As a man, your husband is visually wired. 8 Reasons Why It's Hard to Separate from a Narcissist, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. If you aren’t happy with your marriage because you’re at a roadblock, then you need to decide if it’s time to make … Or, if you've been pressuring him for sex, try the opposite - tease him, but let him take the lead. If you’re pleasant, he’ll generally want to be in your company. Make sure that you make time for your husband. So take the initiative and kiss him. They love surprises and spontaneity if at the appropriate time. “I was complaining to my husband that I was tired, bored, and didn’t have time to exercise. When you are broaching the subject with your husband, show him evidence that you … For some free resources and other materials to strengthen your marriage and  your soul,  see www.StrengthForTheSoul.com. I – Initiate. 1. Squeeze in a few … What is stressing you out? Soften your voice while saying wild things and make your husband want you sexually. What Does the Bible Say about Interracial Marriage? ©2021 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. That you reject him or criticize his parenting? As a pastor’s wife and Bible teacher, Cindi’s passion is to help women find strength for the soul through a deeper intimacy with Christ. Check out these eight Do's and Don'ts to see whether any of them might help reignite his spark for you. Make it a habit to wake up early together … A – Affirm him. Marriage is a sexual relationship that requires both emotional and physical intimacy; however, marriage problems often show up in the bedroom first. D – Dress for him. Do what you  can to keep your body in shape, healthy, and holy for the Lord and for your husband, too. If he's a gamer, challenge him to a round of video games. Michelle told me she began to be more interesting – and more of a pursuit – to her husband when she adopted his interest in working out. Take him down the memory lane and remind him of how you fell for him, what attracted you to him the most and so on. Start taking better care of yourself -- physically and emotionally -- to improve your energy, outlook and self-confidence. But really kiss him. Read Part I here. Casually do your chores without making it look too obvious. Yes, you’d like him to kiss you first, but do for him what you’d like him to do for you. Pushover women are unattractive to men -- at least to the type of men that are worth having. W – Watch his favorite movie or show with him. Hopefully they'll get the hint and do the same for you. “Yes, we can invite your friends over for the game.” “Yes, I’ll try that new type of food with you.” “Yes, I’ll wear that just for you.” Think: “Your will, not mine.” Self sacrifice goes a long way in marriage. Does your husband know everything there is to know about you? So we take care of ourselves for them, too. This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada. Wear a color you never have before. Be unpredictable, but in a good way. I know many women who enjoy remodeling their homes. That you're always on Facebook? Don’t be surprised if you find yourself cycling from relief to anger to fear to sadness to jealousy, sometimes on the same day. Put on that “Woah Baby,” outfit you … If he is those things, count yourself lucky and start showing appreciation for all he does. Just offering to do something for him will show him your heart is tuned toward his needs. Bring your husband details of your finances. He has. He or she spends more time with their own friends or family members than before — and less with you. A man wants to be around a woman who makes him feel like he’s winning. But what about remodeling ourselves now and then? As you look to God first as your Heavenly Husband (Isaiah 54:5), your earthly husband can’t help but notice Christ-like character in you…the essence of true beauty. If he loved it back then, he’ll still love it today…maybe even more. And in the end, the couple that plays together stays together. E – Exude confidence. So put a lock on your bedroom door and use it. - Do rethink your sex life. Think: what did I do back when we dated? He needs that from you more than you realize. Of course, you have your complaints about him, too. Wear a sexy lingerie with a loose, oversized shirt of your husband and leave the buttons open. Talking softly conveys femininity. Christian Relationships and Marriage Resources, 'The Sound of Silence' from Irish Group Celtic Thunder, 7 Psalms to Help You Cope with Life Again, 10 Big Things Jesus Said That We Keep Forgetting. Men tend to not analyze or critique our bodies nearly as much as we do. Talk dirty (if your husband likes … O – Offer to do one thing that will make his day go smoother. If you're afraid to disagree with him or stand up for yourself, or if you feel that you're putting far more into the relationship than he is, it's time to check for footprints on your back. When you are confident in your speech, your walk, your relationship with him, and your role as his wife that, too, is attractive. Flirting is a hidden art among women today. And see what happens. It may be his favorite word from you. The beauty of Christ in you. Start subtly, early in the morning. V – Visibility. 1. Y – “Yes” – say it often. I made the kids ride their bikes, while I started running. Suggest you eat somewhere you never have. Work pressure and other such issues can cause … It will make him feel like he has a brand new wife, especially if you’ve been mothering him more than dating him lately. This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright © 2021, Crosswalk.com. See “L- Leave the lights on.” It’s that important to him, which is why I’m mentioning it – twice! If frequency is low, break out the calendar and pencil it in. I can’t say enough here. This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada, which Even better, exercise along with him, if it’s possible. Your husband might be majorly turned off by a “grandma” night gown that resembles something his mother used to wear! You may want to do this over time, after you’ve initiated the conversation, and not lay it all on him at once. We all love our kids; however, a wife who has a child-centered marriage -- where her kids become the identity and purpose of her marriage -- risks losing the intimate connection she has with her husband as a friend and lover. Chances are your husband dreams of the “wild woman” within you. And when you pursue you pursue your husband, you are affirming to him that he is worth the pursuit. K – Kiss him with passion. In fact, it's essential. Instead of getting defensive, ask yourself whether his complaints have merit. Also, do not talk about your husband on the internet, intimate details of your marriage life belong between you and him. Certain site features have been disabled. If you rush into physical intimacy, for all you know, your ex might mistake this for a one-time … Food is still good foreplay when it comes to men. And mean it. Shake up your sexual schedule. You might love candlelight dinners, but they might not hit the mark with your man. You need to show your husband that the two of you can successfully have a baby. Where Do Our Typical Easter Traditions Come From? Honestly, he doesn’t see all the body flaws you think are so very obvious. Chances are your husband dreams of the “wild woman” within you. The Bible says our bodies are the temple of God. We talk about workouts, nutrition, and even exercise together. Try BetterHelp for online counseling with a 10% discount >>. Cosmopolitan believes that you should flatter your husband every once in a while if you want to keep the kinship between you two alive. A woman who sings her man’s praises is a woman he’ll come after… so he can hear more! If your husband would rather have a root canal that attend marriage counselling, check out the Marriage SOS self-help home program or a good marriage manual. Can your husband always count on a smile or a kind word? please check our. I can’t keep up with my husband, but the fact that I try makes it more interesting.”, By taking up a particular interest that her husband had, Michelle was able to accomplish nearly every one of the A-B-C’s in that one “J.”. Z – Zealously pursue Christ and your husband. Be mysterious, in some ways. You don’t give him a chance if you tell him everything. - Do show him appreciation. U – Use a soft voice with him. - Don't be a diva. It will show him that you do believe in him and his ability to handle a situation. Not just a peck on the cheek, like you’d do to your child. And it’s believed men see in soft focus anyway, meaning your man is not nearly as critical of your body as you are. This will … When you become a mystery to your husband there are things about you that he still wants to know, things you’re thinking that he’d like for you to divulge, secrets in your soul that he’ll be challenged to draw out. He still does. Send the kids to grandma's for the night, snuggle in bed and watch a cheesy sci-fi flick while snacking on some even cheesier nachos. But how did he react? Initiate a hug. That you're too messy? Walk around as long as possible in your underwear and "accidentally" brush your body up against his as you are getting ready for work. Before the distance between the two of you becomes wider, find a way to resolve ongoing conflict in your marriage. If he is those things, count yourself lucky and start showing appreciation for all he does. If he's a car or sports buff, buy his favourite hobby magazine and leave it on the back of the toilet so he can read it "in his office." H – Have a positive attitude. Let your inner tigress come out now and then and show him he’s still the one. Make sure you do all of this to keep the romance in your … Create individual space in your home for each partner and allow time to pursue personal interests. Write him an anonymous note from a “secret admirer” and put it somewhere you couldn’t have and don’t reveal it was from you. S – Spontaneity. Instead of spending the whole weekend together, take a night off and go out with your friends. But playing tit for tat is childish and will do nothing but chip away at the trust and connection you've built with your spouse. Write them down – this will help you … What makes you truly attractive, and one worth pursuing? Initiate lovemaking. Pass subtle messages that will make him know that you have sex on your mind. It's hard for a man to feel desire for a woman who throws temper tantrums, constantly complains or makes him walk on eggshells. Need I say more? Ask yourself: Would I want to live with me? - Don't ignore his complaints about you and the marriage. And dress for him at night, too. Here are some ways to make your wife feel physically relaxed, after you… "I initiated sex last time, so now it's your turn." You need to go on dates. So, it may be time to invest in some lingerie or just something ‘form flattering’ or feminine. B – Be a mystery. You hear it all the time, but experts really say it bums your husband out to see you texting when he's telling you about his day. Nagging, negative, controlling and bitchy behavior can drive away even the most patient man, especially if you're in the habit of taking your frustrations out on him or expecting him to be at your beck and call. But it might be your guy's version of long-stemmed roses. M – Make his favorite meal or dessert. High sex drive people often do relax via sex with minimal foreplay, emotional or physical, needed.) So, regardless of how you might feel about your weight, body shape, “big knees,” “small chest,” cellulite, veins or whatever, get over it. Men still love a challenge; just don’t make it too complicated. So does he, now and then. Put on that lotion that’s supposed entice your hubby in to the sheets.