If you want your husband to pay more attention to you, ask yourself, have you been doing the same to him? Then I behaved warm and loving the next day, not angry. How do i get my husband to pay attention to me? In an healthy relationship, trust and communication should be the focus. We are really struggling as a couple, Ugh, Dina, I hear that this conflict is causing a major rift in your marriage. In the heat of your anger, you might want him to hurt. Improve Yourself for You. If you know by now. HUH??? You could say to him (and yourself), “I love how attentive you are to me” or “I appreciate you giving me so much attention” or “I’m so lucky to have such an attentive husband.”. So, that’s the first of the 5 things. You’ll find pointers for restoring trust there: https://lauradoyle.org/blog/my-husband-lies-to-me/, I will be more feminine. This is truly some backwards 1950’s approach to relationships. One of my clients felt so insecure when she kept finding suspicious texts on her husband’s phone. I’ll show you how in my upcoming Introductory Course on the 6 Intimacy Skills. He acts like he don’t care about me. She’s going to tell us exactly what she did that attracted her husband. I am seductive and like things to not be wambam thank you. If you don't, someone else may, and he may start paying attention to her! I love how my marriage keeps getting better and better with the Skills. So, how can you get your husband to pay more attention to you? LBJ That is devastating! I did not have your level of awareness. I tell him and show him how I feel. I created MF to help men and women facing possible or seemingly inevitable divorce. I would love to meet you at the Cherished for Life Weekend in NJ coming up on the 28th. So the fringe benefit of creating emotional safety for my husband is that I feel happier. You could just put a smile on the way you do for the receptionist at the dentist. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Along with the gratitude I expressed in my new SFPs, practicing all 6 Intimacy Skills gave me back my husband’s attention and affection. He is willing to stay together with no love or intimacy because he says he doesn’t like sex with me and has no interest. I just want to ha e sex again… ?‍♀️ How can you confirm your spouce he’s that awesome husband when he is defending himself,and her about the affair they committed, when the conversation comes up he will yeld at me, as if I cheated on him and defends her, that hurts more than anything.. please I keep thinking about the scrupiture that said if a man even looks at another woman, he committed adultery, and all I do is pray,take care of him and the family. Loss of Interest . Would saying “no” to this diminish his desire to make me happy? Just… Psshhaw! So, find it. Send FLIRTATIOUS TEXTS throughout the day. But is your husband … And come join my FREE Adored Wife Roadmap here: If your spouse gets used to being ignored, chances are she will have a very poor self-worth and self-esteem. Which of these 4 ideas are you going to put into practice first? When I started listening without judging or telling him what to do, he wanted to talk more. In addition to that by chance, I have found the text message in his facebook, where he writes another woman and invites her to go out. There are 4 powerful ways to get your man to be attentive. I can’t wait for you to get that back too! I’ll give you the tools in my free webinar coming up. This is what powers it up. Pick the word hate because people hate the word hate. You can register for it here: https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/. Stop texting him and he will wonder where you are. But I wonder, what is the limit of being receptive? Ages are 7, 3, 21 months, and our miracle baby born 10 weeks early she is 3 months old going by her birthday. Andrea, kudos on your commitment to providing emotional safety. Usually criticized. Debra, it is so discouraging to lose the intimacy as newlyweds. I can start to hear him share his feelings. I still don’t get it. It changes when your perspective changes. I have stopped focusing on negatives, but that ain’t stopping him to be convinced that I don’t love and respect him as I don’t want to go back to his parents and family back home!! I have asked to have 10mins each day to spend together. Our conflict over this issue alone, has made him completely insensitive to me. On today’s episode I share: 4 powerful ways to get your man to be attentive. I have an upcoming free webinar that will empower you to do that. Great post Laura, my husband has over the years become extremely resentful and inattentive. I’m glad it happened, of course, because I miss being close to him. Why do all the articles I read act like the woman is to blame and that we must change. I’ve tried but he won’t let go of past issues that are irrelevant and just brings them up to hurt me. If I can create that kind of relationship, you can too! He said we were fine but now all of a sudden I’m acting this way again. And most of them are not directed at me. In fact, he had been having an emotional affair with this woman for 3 years. I just needed to keep my side of the street clean. You must be furious with him! I totally agree with you. Do not text him again until he replies to your text. But this is something that you decide to do and you do it intentionally for each of 5 days. You can register for it here: https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/. I love your approach. First time she ever said that! I do feel that he would respond better and I am going to try my hardest! You shouldn’t have to be ignored! And be specific, okay? But he says he spends to much time with us..?? Being tired and depleted makes it challenging for me to surrender too. It’s beautiful to imagine you being that goddess of fun and light smiling, expressing your gratitude, and expressing your desires purely. When you stop making yourself look like you can only think of him, you will get his attention. 4. I’ve noticed that when I’m angry I don’t have to say anything. Ridiculous. And the best part is, it doesn’t take a miracle, it doesn’t take a ton of effort. Remember the magic you felt when that happened? Thank you so much XO. He then blocked me. I am also working on Affirmative words. And then you send that message, “Hey sweetie, you know what? https://lauradoyle.org/blog/how-to-get-your-husband-to-pay-attention-to-you If you’re criticizing or nagging him, it’s just going to push him away. I invite you to apply for a complimentary discovery call with one of my coaches at https://lauradoyle.org/marriage-relationship-coaching. Exactly what is happening in my marriage and how down I feel about myself right now. I see that when I focus on the positive I want & make a call or speak from that.. They should be none of my business! It truly isnt. You know I used to do these little tricks when I was younger, and it worked on my husband and I guess I completely forgot the power of a flirty, sweet smile! If you want his attention, make yourself less available. To get to the root of the problem, you’ll have to go to the source. Husbands are not that complicated. So far I’ve seen revolutionary changes just from reading this wonderful blog. Why are men to rewarded a women’s best behavior when he is slacking? Marcia, my heart breaks for you. Ericka Sóuter . He keeps asking us to move back home to our home country and close to his parents, totally forgetting how that’s going to hurt me in emotionally and career too. I don’t see how that’s possible. It’s always about understanding the signals. Maybe you don’t feel like you want to smile at him. I would love to see you get the support you need to get your husband back. And just now while I’m typing this he comes in here acting like yesterday never happened and asked why I’m in here by myself crying. Sometimes it feels like everything else is more important to your husband than you are: work, the kids, whoever is texting him. Silly me, I told him that I was simply letting him know what was on my mind; I was not asking him to fix the problem! I am happier with who I am and I love being me! Husbands might seem to be gruff, impartial, perhaps a tiny difficult, and maybe seeming like they have need of nothing.Really, these might be a few of the most critical approaches to get… Laura. <===”Counter-Intuitive Secret” reverses years of neglect. I will provide emotional safety. We used to be so cute together! I told him that I want my old Jeremy back but he said that won’t happen, he’s gone. Send a message of appreciation, so you find more ways for the next 5 days to send other message of appreciation. In my head, separation meant no sex so I totally backed off in that area. I’ve been doing all of the above and just want to say that Laura’s method is a game changer. If you're tied to the home and don’t have a lot of freedom because you’re with your children, start engaging more deeply with them. We have been through an emotional rollercoaster since, gone through some therapy but he stopped, said he had enough because I will never forgive him and he will be a prisoner in the marriage for the rest of our years. I know my husband loves me, but I do need to understand the things you mentioned…I will smile more, express how much I appreciate all the things he does for me, and tell him what I want instead of thinking by me mentioning it that he should know I want him to do it. ???? And scared that she was not going to be loved. Your email address will not be published. How To Get Your Husband To Pay Attention To You. my boyfriend is ready to leave me and i do truly love him , but he says i never pay attention to him which i do not , i am always doing my own thing and that is not because i don’t want to spend time with him because i do , i just get so angry that he wants to give all his attention to me , i am not use to it ! And I will thank him when he does give me attention! I have lost weight, I have become the person he wanted me to be. My name is Ralph, the creator of Marriedforever.net! So if you’re not happy with how things are, you need to take the steps to change it or things won’t improve. Lori, that sounds like a beautiful way to cultivate respect! Thank you for sharing your experience practicing the Intimacy Skills! I have read The Empowered Wife and many blogs posts and have finally found, after a year of relationship troubles, advice that feels authentic and compassionate for both people in a relationship. I thought I was being a great wife and couldn’t understand why we lacked intimacy. Many many areas that need help. That’s why it hurts so much when you feel like your husband doesn’t pay attention to you anymore. This may be the furthest thing from your mind, and you know that you would never act on anything with someone else, but it can help the attention you get from your husband if he you make him jealous by spending time with another man. And people hate this, don’t you? You can register for it here: https://lauradoyle.org/swewtraining/. As women, we love to validated for who we are. Consider Your Feminine Gifts. Yes! Yet when he talks to anyone but me his old funny sweet self comes out. He blames me for everything and acts like I do nothing right, I feel like if I don’t breathe right he’ll yell at me. Love brings me to the last one of these 5 messages that you will be sending for 5 days in a row. Hello Laura, your books and blog gave me amazing insight on my marriage. You both have evolved, and are different people than when you first got together and so using power – the power of energy – is way more effective. He’s going to appreciate that as well. I thought if I stopped criticizing his neglect, I was giving up on getting the attention I wanted, but my experience has been just the opposite. !….& what’s worse is my husband knows, b/c when he called me, while out on a service call 2 nights ago, I finally broke down & told him what had been bothering me here lately–& he said, “all I can say is, I’m sorry…” then, of course, he had to go b/c he was getting another phone call. He misses it as much as you miss his attention, but he doesn’t know how to get it back either. My husband packed his stuff and said “I’m not that guy anymore” and basically abandoned this family on Sunday evening. I love how when I persevere in practicing the 6 Intimacy Skills, my husband’s hero gene is activated and he is so eager to please me. I’m excited to think what you can do with what you’ll learn in the book! I admire you for wanting to up your gratitude even more with the spouse-fulfilling prophecy. Quite the opposite. So I’m trying to catch myself when I get angry and ask myself what the root of that anger is and often its because “I feel”…… I’m learning to share how I’m feeling and often I’ve misconstrued the message or heard what I wanted to hear, not what he actually said.